“ I realised a strange thing, when we got divorced. Our marriage had changed us into different people. Our divorce had put an end to the life familiar to us and had almost forced us to begin a new one, thus leaving us with no choice. It was not easy, and definitely confusing. I wish I had someone to guide me through the initial phase of life after divorce, wish I had known better. I wish I knew there was such a thing as post-divorce counselling that helps people like us to deal with life after divorce.”
When you come to think of it, you will realise that even though almost everyone gets married but not everybody goes through a divorce. Therefore, when going through a divorce, there is hardly anyone who can understand what you might be going through.Many people end up repressing feelings such as stress, grief, guilt, pain, hurt and anger that are associated with divorce instead of dealing with them in ‘the right way’. Mostly because they don’t find an outlet for these feelings. Therefore, it is important to deal with these unresolved issues before they begin to create problems in the future relationships. This is when Post-divorce counselling comes into picture.
What is Post-divorce counselling?
Post-divorce counselling is for couples who have finalized on divorce and are now required to make decisions for their future in terms of work, finance, family, marriage; and in many cases children.It helps us to acknowledge and deal with the feelings of loss and grief that are associated with divorce or separation.
It is not necessary that all couples end their marriages in conflict. Some couples decide to separate and still remain on good terms. Whether the separation is peaceful or not, post-divorce counselling helps one to make correct decision for several important things later in life.
“The worst part of the divorce was that our son had to be a part of it. It is true that my husband and I were sad and sorry that the marriage didn’t work. But it was our son who suffered the most. I think, before our divorce he never saw us as husband and wife, just mom and dad. We were upset, he was devastated, he thought it was his fault.”
Divorce is the most stressful thing that can happen to a child and this fact often gets ignored or over-looked by many. A child’s mind is not developed enough to separate disparities from combats. When parents fight it may make children wonder if it is their fault. Therefore, children and their well-being needs to become a priority during divorce proceedings and counselling. The stress and guilt, a child feels due to parents’ divorce is a wound that needs to be addressed before it develops into an inerasable scar.
Some of the key concerns or problems faced by couples after divorce:
Divorce requires a period of adjustment, working through changes, routines and feelings, to be able to function in a new setting.One also needs to come to terms with the following:
Lack of declining support.
Single parenting concerns.
When divorced couples remarry, blended families face many challenges.
How to divide time with children.
Blame game by others.
You can also read our blogs:
- Enhancing Relationships
- Live-In Relationships
- Am I in a healthy relationship
- LGBT- ‘Shades of love’
- Post Divorce Cunselling -‘Are you brave enough to say goodbye?’
- Pre Divorce Counselling-‘ Is it the right time to say goodbye?’
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